My mind raced as I crawled into bed mere hours before sunrise after pulling yet another all-nighter. I just finished my second project for the Data Science Immersive Remote course with General Assembly and vastly underestimated the time it would take to complete my README file and my presentation. I promised myself LAST time I pulled an all-nighter that I would never do it again, and here I was....exhausted, sore from sitting for hours, and awake.
As I tried to quiet my mind, intrusive questions crept in:
Will I ever change? Will I stay up NEXT time there is a project due?
Can I handle all of this work?
Do I belong in this program?
Could I really BE a data scientist? Full time?
I first learned about imposter syndrome from "Lean In" by Cheryl Sandberg. I had already graduated from college and was working full time, not sure of where I wanted to go in my career. One thing I was sure of, though, was that I was an imposter. Sure, I went to college. I graduated with a good GPA, and I even sounded smart sometimes. But in reality, I was a fake. I had no skills, and I was not smart, nor was I capable. My espionage was so great I even fooled myself sometimes.
This, however, is the imposter syndrome speaking. It is a beast that slithers into your life and convinces you that you are not worthy of your accomplishments.
During my analysis, I continually submitted models for evaluation and could not beat my own score. I was frustrated and full of doubt. I questioned why I couldn't focus my mind until the deadline was too close. Am I just setting myself up for failure?
I let the questions linger, but not overtake my thoughts. I moved on.
After reengineering the features and running a new regression, I finally submitted a model that evaluated a higher score. I saw the results of my hard work. I then came to accept that my workflow includes a last minute, under-pressure sprint which overwhelmingly results in success. I trusted the process and my new coworker, imposter syndrome. I finished the project and presented it with assurance and confidence.
The key to beating your imposter syndrome is to accept it. Let it sit with you, and when it decides to hiss into your ear that you don't belong, show it your third place score in the competition that you thought you didn't even belong in in the first place.
